Guess what’s on now?

Titanic.

On HBO. Damn HBO is forcing this movie down my throat and taking advantage of me while I’m sick. Ahh… NFL Live on ESPN. Now that’s more like it.

But what else did I watch on my sick vacation? A Tom Hanks slash Steven Spielberg movie! Sounds like a great combination right? Well… read on.


The Terminal (2004)
My rating: 6/10

Yes, 6/10. The combo of Hanks and Spielberg seems like a no lose situation. I mean, c’mon! But even this duo couldn’t save a premise that should have been shelved before coming out of someone’s mouth. That is unless it was pitched as a slapstick comedy like “Police Squad” or “Police Academy”. What can you do with a story about a foreigner traveling to the US who is forced to stay in the International Terminal for nine weeks? You’ll have to suspend disbelief in a big way to really accept the fact that some head of Homeland Security at JFK airport wants to one: keep Tom Hanks in the Terminal and two: not allow this harmless person to enter the United States. Yes, it’s a slam on our current Administration and their policies on Homeland Security but is that enough to sustain this storyline? Uh, nope. It was presented as too real a situation with serious actors and a serious director (whatever that is) when this movie should have been cast for someone like Jim Carrey or Will Ferrell. And these two comedic geniuses are too good for this movie. It’s almost like Hanks and Spielberg were taking a “Police Academy” script and replacing the cast with uh, good actors. Seriously. This movie would have been perfect for the cast of “Police Academy”!

It’s perfect I say!
Steve Guttenberg as Tom Hanks’ character.
Kim Cattrall as Catherine Zeta-Jones’s character.
Bubba Smith as Chi McBride’s character.
George Gaynes as Stanley Tucci character.

Etc., etc, etc…

Overall, the movie was mediocre entertainment for even a sick soul like myself. If you were able to accept all the impossibilities – and there were more than a handful – maybe… just maybe it will entertain you.. And here’s one for ya… Speilberg decided to do away with a traditional “Hollywood Ending” in favor for something more, can I say, meaningful and heartfelt. Like that saved the movie. Yeah right. Give me the girl at the end. At least there would be some salvage to this mess.

I gave it a 6/10. I was sick while watching if that says anything good or bad.

Not even a rental. Catch it on TV when there’s absolutely nothing else on to watch.