I was going to apply William Strunk Jr.’s and E.B. White’s Rule Number 17 from their book, “The Elements of Style” as my entry for today and post an entry with no words whatsoever. Because any other word outside of ‘blah’ seemed needless.
Rule 17 states: “Omit needless words.”
I forced myself, which is good practice – especially for Hungry Screenwriters – to write this out. Sure, the following may be a plethora of needless words, but the subtext of a writer fighting through many blocks remains.
And so I’m back as my role as a Financial Analyst or just recently the interim Director of Managed Care. A Financial Analyst suits me better than the latter title. But yes, I'm back, with title or without, from a four day break which felt longer than four days. And when it feels longer it makes coming back even harder. It makes me ask myself, ‘is there light at the end of my tunnel?’
Seeing my cousin James in a graduation robe and hat made me rethink all the career choices I have made thus far once again. I’ve owned a Comic Book store, I fell into a job as a Business Analyst then found myself doing Financial Analysis for nearly seven years. I’ve struggled with a non-paying career as a writer and have fell into the role of an interim Director of Managed Care. Seeing James graduate law school gave me this little push to think about Law as a career. This is not a ‘first’ as I’ve always thought about such careers like Law, Medicine and Education, but have yet to feel so passionate about it that I actually do something to make it happen.
And when you see me struggle to write a paragraph or a scene for a script, you would question why I’d even want to write for the rest of my life. But its there. It’s the hardest emotion to describe, even for a writer: at least from my perspective. But you must have ‘been there’ one time or another.
Just think back when you’ve spoken to a friend. You’re having a meaningless conversation and you’re trying to use a word but it just doesn’t come out of your mouth. It’s at the tip of your tongue. You know the word, you know what it means, you just can’t say it and it drives you insane. But then the moment, the conversation, the struggle to find that word goes away. You leave it at that and move on. Maybe you’ll remember the word maybe you won’t. But you just let it go.
Well, as a writer in that ‘struggle’ mode, that feeling, the loss of words, the frustration, its not just a small moment in time but more like a torturous day, week or month of not getting the work done. It lasts longer than that meaningless conversation and can eat at you night and day and then repeat itself. You can’t let it go because it’ll gnaw at you till the day you die. Therapy helps, but it doesn’t complete you. Because until you find that word, write out that scene, or jot down the paragraph that says exactly what you want it to say, you’ll just be a frustrated writer forever. If you’re a writer, you can’t just let it go. You have to make it work.
You have to fight, struggle and wrestle with all your might to get it done.
When you’re finished it’s the most satisfying but non-rewarding piece of work you’ll ever create. Break open a bottle of wine and celebrate the completion but accept the fact that nobody will read it since it’s a shitty first draft, you’ll have to go through re-writes that may take months or years, and if you do complete it, you’ll get rejection letters from everyone from agencies to your best friend.
Writers. That’s what we do. And either you hate it or learn to love it. Either way, a writer does it night and day. In order to succeed, we, as writers, force ourselves to write anything, anywhere, anytime. Even if its on a napkin, a notepad or even an internet Blog. But despite the struggles and possible victories of writing through a story block, Tuesday mornings after a four day weekend doesn’t give you any hint of light at the end of the tunnel. At least from a Hungry Writer’s point of view.
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