I’ve been here more than a year, I’ve already gotten an unexpected raise after six months. I’m managing to still do the job I was hired to do plus more, and I guess if I were to give myself a review I’d say… I think I’m hanging in there.
And if you ask if I like alcoholics I’d reply… “I like alcoholics???”
So Friday I get a call into the CFO’s office around 2:30 PM. Of course I’m nervous. And of course I think I’m going to get fired as I always think. I’m quite the paranoid.
I sit down and he asks, “Do you know how I do an eval?”
I shake my head – no.
“I do a summary of the eval, then we go over the points on the evaluation list, then we go over it in summary again.”
I nodded – okay.
“So… in summary…”
Oh shit. I’m thinking the next words are going to hurt. You’re not working 8 hour days. You’re dressed too casually. You stay in your office with your door closed doing who knows what on the internet and computer while drinking coffee. You don’t go out to lunch with people and you eat all my apples.
Well, I have an excuse for each of those arguments. I get here at 7:00 AM and I leave at 4:00 PM. And I work at home when I need to. I dress how he (my CFO) dresses. I like staying in my office with my door closed because I don’t want my radio and iPod to bother others and yeah, as you know I’m on the internet or programming VBA procedures for Excel. I don’t go to lunch with people because I’d rather spend $3.05 in the cafeteria for a well balanced meal than spend $8 to $10 a day on fast food or some serious unhealthy lunches. And you said I can eat your apples!
I expected the worst at the very least if that’s possible. I expected, well, here’s my opportunity to get that job at Barnes & Nobles and Starbucks. I expected if I stayed another year I’d be on egg shells trying to walk the walk without getting the boot. Now that’s stressful and so far, its been pretty UN-stressful.
I mean, this has been the best job and boss I’ve ever had in my life. And I’ve had some great bosses.
But that’s not what came after he said, “So… in summary…”
“So… in summary… you’re doing a great job. Now lets go over the points of the evaluation list.”
HUH?
What did he say?
“…in summary… you’re doing a great job.”
GREAT?
A GREAT JOB?
Heh, I know my analysis kick ass, I know I go beyond the call of duty when I do my job, I know I’m an Excel Expert… I mean you hired me didn’t you? Damn straight I’m doing a great job!!!
So yeah. I got a smile on my face and I’m holding back the tears and trying not to hug my boss for telling me I make his job easier. And he’s the C-F-FRIGGEN-O!
He gives me one of those ‘form statements’ like, “I rarely ever give a person a 5 from the scale of 1-5…”
Yes I’ve heard EVERY ONE of my bosses say this to me. And yes, they’re right. They rarely and never ever do.
“But I gave you a lot of 5s.” He continued.
The sentence hung in the air for a moment.
“But I gave you a lot of 5s.”
A LOT? DUDE, YOU’RE COOLER THAN SHIT!!!
Believe me, there’s a point to this whole thing and I’ll get to that in a few paragraphs. Hang with me.
And yes he did. He gave me a lot of 5s. Six of the thirteen categories he gave me a score of 5. A fiver for this, a fiver for that, a fiver for this, a fiver for that.
Yeah I’m bragging, I JUST GOT MY REVIEW DAMINT!
The definition of a 5 is, “Consistently Exceeds Standards” which means a good score and a great raise. AGAIN!
So yeah, apparently I’m consistently exceeding standards despite my loud music, my casual business attire, my refusal to spend money on expensive food, my addiction to coffee and the Internet. Believe me, the coffee helps me do this job.
Twenty minutes into the evaluation he tells me to go home early. And this isn’t the first time he’s told me to go home early.
I’ve been here more than a year. Do you think I can stand it another year of this, “go home early stuff?”
Uh… YES.
And that’s my point. Remember, I said I’d have a point?
The damn carrot. Its dangling in front of me. Keeping me here in Corporate America which offers a good salary, health benefits, a 401K and discounts at Disneyland. But you know what else this does? It holds me back from that career in writing. I mean I’m good at what I do here as a financial analyst, I’m also a good writer. At least that’s what I’m told.
So more commitment to writing at night or in the mornings has to be done to remind myself who I am and what I want in life. Because getting paid to do something that you don’t want to do, and continually exceeding standards is only going to give me the money… but its not going to make me happy.
Plus, Donna’s bringing home the $$$ now WITH benefits and a 403B and discounts at Disneyland too! And the cost of a bag of coffee is quite high so working at Starbucks would, at the very least, give me free coffee! Couple that with a job at Barnes & Noble and my kids will always have a book to read and inherit our addiction to caffeine like any normal American family! That way I can write and that’s going to make me happy!
And so it goes. Another chapter in the life of the HungryHungryScreenwriter! Not so bad. I can’t really complain. At least I’m not a Hippo.
One more point. Bosses should make their employees feel great. It keeps them in the job and motivates them to consistently exceed standards.
‘nuff said.
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